How to be Human
by skepticalshay
Summary: R is slowly changing from a Zombie to a Human. Civilization has excepted Zombies and it's finally safe to begin a life outside of the stadium. Julie loves him, she'll stay with him through anything, but how can R cope with the struggles of becoming Human, the judgement of others, and learning how to be normal?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody. This is my first Warm Bodies Fan fiction, and I'm nervous about it, but I think it's a okay start to the story. R is still in the transition of turning to a human so he still has Zombie qualities about him. So, Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Living**

Everyone was staring.

_I could feel it._

Watching me walk side by side with Julie, pushing the metal trolley through the store as she piled things in.

I knew they were watching the scars in my neck and face, the paleness of my skin, and my still slightly discolored lips.

I was human though, they knew that. My heart was beating and I would slowly become fully like them.

It'd take a while, but it would happen.

An annoying jingle was playing from the speakers and I wished it would just stop.

"R, do you need anything?" Julie turned to me, smiling, ignoring the people whispering to each other.

We stop by a shelf, and I stand awkwardly straight.

"No … I'm good." I can't help staring back at these people. Why can't they look away?

Julie taps me on my arm so I turn to her.

I like looking at her, with her curly blonde hair and blue eyes, they glimmer slightly in this crappy lighting.

"You alright?" She's completely ignoring the people whispering about us.

"I'm .. fine." I stutter slightly, I'm nervous now. I can feel myself locking down.

She kisses me full on, her lips lingering against mine.

The warmth and softness of them gentle against my own. She pulls away, staring at me.

The whispering crowd goes silent, and I can hear their sharp intakes of breath.

Julie, daughter of the General, kissing her zombie/human boyfriend publicly.

If M was here, he would of spat on them, told them all to get lost and mind their own business.

* * *

The world had become more civilized, ever since the humans realized that us zombies were slowly changing.

They rebuilt the homes, shops and malls surrounding the stadium so people could move out.

Julie had decided we should get our own house.

She parked in the driveway by the cream colored Victorian building, our home.

"Julie, what's wrong?" She had driven aggressively, holding her foot down on the pedal.

She ignores me, M calls it the_ 'silent treatment'. _

She climbs out the car quickly, slamming the door, dragging the bags out the back seat and storming into the house.

I look down at my feet in the trainers she bought me.

I can't remember the name of the rope wrapped around them.

Wire, Rope, String, Laces.

Laces, that's it.

I smile to myself, I'm glad I can remember that.

* * *

I sit at the wooden table in the cooking room, Julie calls it the kitchen. Kitchen's a nice word.

She's throwing things into the cupboards and slams the doors closed.

She doesn't break anything.

It still feels weird sitting here, I'm half dead, half living.

Sitting in the 'Kitchen' of someone who's died, probably at my hands.

"Julie, what's wrong?" I put my hands flat-out on the table.

She stops moving suddenly, her back to me as she breathes heavily.

She's angry, I can still slightly hear her heart beat. I'm still not fully human.

It's rising quickly, beating in her chest.

"You let them stare at you and whisper, like you're not human. But you are, and you don't see it." Julie shakes slightly.

"I'm … not human yet. I'm … still like a corpse." I stutter. The word 'corpse' doesn't hurt anymore. I've been called it enough times to realise it's just a nicer word for a dead, rotten body.

"R. You are more human than any of them in there! They sit and point guns and shout orders like they deserve to live more than you or M. You act like you don't sleep, cry, or bleed. You do now R, and you can't see how human you are." She turns around now, leaning back on the counter.

She's wearing a cream top underneath her red jumper. It's a 'low-cut' apparently.

You can see the top of breast and her cleavage.

I read about that in one of the PlayBoy magazines in the shops.

She crosses her arms, noticing I've been staring at her.

"I'm sorry." I look away from her, down at my hands.

She walks over to me, and I move my hands off the table leaning back in the chair.

She sits down on my legs, facing me.

"I love you, don't forget that." She strokes my face lightly, running her fingers over the scar on my cheek and my eye.

"I .. love you too." I whisper back the words to her. She kisses me quickly and pulls away.

"What's … for dinner?" I try to lighten the mood, smiling at her.

"Well, I was thinking of brains but maybe we could try rice and salmon."

I groan disapprovingly.

* * *

**How did you guys like it? Reviews, follows, and faves are much appreciated :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**How to be Human CHP 2.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows and favorites on the first chapter. I woke up and had a mini-panic attack (: thanks so much and enjoy this new chapter.**

**(Any mistakes made are my own, and I do not own Warm Bodies, R or Julie sadly)**

* * *

Julie's shivering under the sheets.

I can hear her ragged breath and she keeps moving, rubbing her hands against her bare arms.

She decided to go to bed in nothing but her polka dot underwear in the December breeze.

I'm in a long pair of tracksuit bottoms and a vest top.

My hands are behind my head, and I'm staring up at the ceiling.

It's been freshly painted, I did it myself.

I'm quite proud of my work.

"R." Julie turns around to face me, wrapping the sheet around herself.

"Are you not cold?" She looks at me, her eyes wide. The moonlight shines through the closed curtains.

"A little … I can feel it." I look at her, smiling a little.

She shifts sideways, getting closer to me.

I turn to face her.

She smiles then turns, pushing her back against my chest.

I freeze. She's making a move.

She wants me to hold her and hug her.

Holy shit.

* * *

I wrap my arm around her, right where her side dips in then back out around her hips.

From my recent observations, I've realised she has a perfect body.

Dips and curves in all the right places, flat stomach, long legs, wide hips.

I wonder if she's ever thought about what I look like without any clothes on.

I have strong arms, but that's all from the neck snapping and strangling.

I didn't put on weight, so my stomach is still flat.

I'm not sure about having a six-pack. The models on the magazines Julie has all do though.

I haven't seen her naked.

I should really add a yet to that because we are living together.

I think we're on the dating level of our relationship now.

I hold her tight against me, and she shuffles slightly. She rubs herself against me.

She feels myself go stiff under her touch.

She laughs and then rolls over to face me again.

"I'm sorry." I feel my skin flush red, at the embarrassment.

She grins at me.

"We could try it, if you're ready." She licks her lips.

* * *

I don't know why I did it, but I kiss her.

Pulling herself close to me.

Her tongue entering my mouth and I let her take control.

I've never done this before.

She pushes me back against the pillow, her lips never leaving mine as she climbs on top of me.

This is it,

This is what M was talking about.

'Living Sex'

I'm nervous and scared about this.

What if I don't do anything right.

She pulls my vest top up, and I give her access to pull it off.

She pulls away and traces her fingers over the scars on my chest. She loves doing that.

The scratches, weapon wounds, cuts all exposed to her.

My entire history played out.

She kisses me again, pulling the cover off us as she slides down my trousers.

I've been advised to wear boxers underneath, so I do.

Her hand lingers on my sides.

* * *

The door in the corner of the room slams open.

Nora is standing at the door watching me and Julie.

"Julie." I slide her off me quickly, and she turns to see what I'm looking at when she notices what's going on.

Nora remains standing still.

It's slowly becoming more and more awkward.

Julie covers herself up with the sheets; she sits on the edge of the bed trying to make as little noise as possible.

Nora still hasn't moved.

What is up with this girl?

"Sorry you had to see that." Julie apologies, hiding her smile behind her hair.

What the hell was Nora doing in the house anyway?

How did she even get in?

"It's fine. I'll leave." Nora smiles awkwardly, walks out and closes the door lightly behind her.

* * *

I'm barely breathing, still taking in what Julie just did to me.

She was on top of me, half naked.

We were going to have sex.

Julie sighs and lies down next to me.

Resting her head on my chest.

"I'm sorry R." she whispers and closes her eyes.

"It's fine." I stare at the ceiling for the rest of the night, replaying what happened in my mind.

I am not going to sleep tonight.

* * *

**IM SORRYYY. I had to leave it hanging.**

**Reviews, Follows, and favorites much appreciated :) **

**If you have any questions ask away via my ask. There's a link on my profile. **


	3. Chapter 3

**How to Be Human CHP3.**

_Thank you for the reviews, favorites and follows :) _

_You guys must really enjoy this story._

_This chapter is longer than the others cause I felt like I should deliver a little more to you._

_Hopefully it's still as good._

**(I do not own Warm Bodies, R, or Julie ... sadly.)**

* * *

The clock shows 8:36 am.

"You should really eat more."

Nora's watching me from across the table, her fork hovering by her mouth.

We're at the Grill and Julie's gone to the toilet.

I thought it'd be awkward with Nora after last night,

But she seems to not care, or have forgotten.

Nora's got a full plate of Bacon, eggs and beans.

I can't eat properly.

Human flesh tastes disgusting, not that I've tried, and Human food is even worse.

I've been forced to take endless amount of vitamins and nutrients.

Red pill, orange pill, squishy tablet, drinks.

Day in, day out.

"You're looking a little skinny R."

Nora points her fork at me.

I'd say I'm skinny myself.

Without my t-shirt on you can just about see the groves of my rib cage.

Not my fault I'm losing weight like crazy.

Everyone's scared that I'll break in two.

Especially Julie.

"I'm fine." I respond.

* * *

I like that sentence now, it's partly a lie and it's partly not.

I don't look fine.

Sometimes I feel it, most times I don't.

I look scruffy and tired.

The nurses at the hospital whisper that I looked better dead.

Personally, I'd agree.

"Are you really though?" Nora fills her mouth with food.

I consider what I should say a little more.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine." I smile.

Nora sighs at me and continues eating.

They should make an orchestra of sighers.

I'd probably be the best,

Call it years of practice.

Julie appears again, she slides next to me in the booth.

Underneath the table, she reaches out for my hand while talking to Nora about something.

I grab her hand, smothering it in my large palms.

We're almost a cute ordinary couple.

* * *

The car races down the street, more people are moving into the houses.

Julie hopes we'll see kids running around by next month.

It's cold outside and the hood of the car has been used for once, she predicts it'll snow.

She even wanted me to wear boots instead of my usual black trainers, but she doesn't understand that they are part of my history.

We pull up outside of a large brick building, the sign says: "Zombie School."

It's quite ill-fitting considering most of us are partly human.

I've hated every day I've come here for the past two weeks.

The people who stand around teaching us history and English judge us.

_Little judgy people._

Julie smiles at me,

She knows I hate it, but she wants me to learn.

To slowly become more human in my mind.

I guess she wants me to think like a normal person.

"Please don't hurt anybody, and try and learn." She sighs.

I sit in silence.

I feel like a school kid on his first day.

A _really_ tall school kid.

A _zombie_ school kid.

* * *

Posters about humanity line the walls of the classroom.

It's a medium sized room with bright lights and one window.

The woman who stands in front of us, trying to keep calm, has red hair.

It doesn't look very nice.

Or very natural.

But then who am I to talk about what's nice and natural.

I have a pretty low self-esteem.

And self-confidence.

I sit in the back of the room next to M.

Surrounded by a bunch of other dead/alive students.

"How's Julie?" M nudges my arm.

"She's fine. Could be better though." My speech is getting better,

I feel like giving myself a little pat on the back.

But I don't really deserve it.

The teacher begins a speech on humans, love, and the brain.

She talks about humanity, and what humanity is for us.

Someone says it means 'being human'.

She says she wants a more personal meaning; she wants to hear what we live for.

We are handed pens and paper, by a very nervous assistant.

"Write your answers down, it's alright if you have any spelling mistakes." The teacher takes a seat, opening up a book.

I begin to write:

**_Julie is my_**

I ask the teacher how to spell Humanity.

It's a difficult word.

* * *

"**H** as in Hungry,** U** as in Unclean,** M** as in Mean,** A** as in Abnormal,** N** as in Nuisance." She continues speaking, but I tune out.

She's making a joke.

A terrible and rude joke.

She's mocking our half zombie state.

I stand up, the chair pushing backwards.

Walking up to her desk, I try to resist the urge to slam her head against it.

I can imagine it.

_Grabbing her by her neck, my fingers digging in._

_Slamming her against the desk, the blood dripping off the wood._

_Her body lying on the floor,_

_She'll have some sort of beauty to her, maybe a last smile, a section of curly hair, her eyes left in a dazed look, her legs positioned in a ballet dance._

_But her skull would be cracked, leaking onto the floor._

_We'd all bend down next to her, humming a quiet prayer before we dig in._

_Giving into our urges._

I shake myself a little.

So I scrunch up the paper, drop it on her desk and walk out.

I won't let her sit there and torment me.

I won't let her force me to believe I'm nothing.

I give myself a hard enough time.

* * *

I sit outside in the rain, on a bench by the road.

Waiting for Julie to come and get me.

I wait a longer time then I expected.

By the time she arrives I'm cold and shivering.

She doesn't get out the car and lecture me though, she knows not too.

She knows why I'm out here.

Julie gets out the car and sits down next to me on the bench.

The engine still running in the background.

She opens up an umbrella.

I smile to myself.

* * *

We're always getting judged. Humans don't understand why we did what we did.

Why we ripped out people's throats, and dined on their brains.

They don't understand, so they judge.

They judge us by how we look, walk and talk.

Sometimes, it takes all my will power to not grab someone and scream at them.

Scream at them and apologize for everything I did,

Then apologize for enjoying killing people.

Apologize for being a zombie.

But I can't.

**_I have to stay strong for Julie._**

* * *

**Hola Readers, **

_**Did you enjoy it? It was a very difficult chapter to write as I wanted to sort of show you how R felt about himself. Life isn't easy for him really in a ex anti-zombie community. It was also difficult as I tried to put myself in the shoes of a depressed zombie/human, you should try it some time :D **_

**Thank you so much for any reviews, favorites and follows coming my way (or not). Thanks for reading and see you next time x **


	4. Chapter 4

**WarmBodies CHP 4**

**Hi guys, I'm back again (: **

**I'm on Easter holidays so i'm trying to write a little more to entertain you over yours, but the fact that I just got a puppy might slow that down -cry. **

**I have a little suprsie for you in this chapter, so enjoy!**

**(Sadly, I do not own Warm Bodies, or R, or Julie. )**

* * *

After 'school' we drove over to Nora's house.

She was in a deep conversation with M on the patio, underneath the shade thingy.

"Looks like they're getting cosy." Julie turned off the engine and got out, checking that her car was parked close enough to the pavement to not get hit by a passing vehicle.

Nora looked up from her conversation and smiled.

She has a pretty smile, with large teeth and brown eyes she's quite a catch for M.

M's watching me in the car, his head tilted.

He can see it.

I bet you he can.

I bet you my_ red jumper_ he knows I feel like rolling on the floor and crying.

* * *

I can't hear what they are saying outside, but Julie runs up onto the patio and greets M.

He shakes her hand, kisses her cheek, and does all the human gestures.

He hugs and kisses Nora and goes into the house.

I'm seriously confused.

M's staying at Nora's?

Why though?

The sudden realisation hits me.

M is in a relationship with Nora.

**Nope, nope, no.** I'm not having that.

Nora and M are together now.

Jesus that escalated quickly.

Nora's a nice girl but she's scarred, with the death of her parents and brother.

She's twisted and sick.

Touch her in the middle of the night and she's fly kicking you to the floor and pulling out a 45. Caliber to shoot you.

Julie told me she carries a _knife in her boot._

* * *

The door to the car opens again and Julie gets inside.

"Where's Nora?"

"She's staying home with M; I had to talk to her." She buckles in her seatbelt, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"She's sleeping with M isn't she?" I had to ask, I knew my answer, but you know that feeling you get when you have to confirm something.

I had that.

"Probably, who knows R. It's none of our business." Julie starts up the engine, and pulls away.

"She always wants to know if I slept with you. She's even interrupted the first time." I sigh.

"She's my best friend R, she's jealous, and she apologized for walking in on us." Julie sighs louder than I did.

I was only asking a question.

* * *

Julie decided we were going to visit her dad; personally, I would like to visit my bed.

I'm so tired.

I don't think I'm reacting well to the change to be honest.

Being in the rain this morning didn't help, and neither does my diet.

Julie recommends visiting the hospital after.

Personally, I don't mind.

I just don't want everyone gawking at me in the waiting room.

Or the little kids poking their mums asking why I'm so pale.

Why I'm so tall.

Why I'm so …

_Me._

* * *

John Grigio still lives in the same house he did before the stadium walls collapsed.

Julie's iron balcony is still there and her room is still perfectly intact.

But the rest of the house is almost empty, all the furniture fairly basic.

John's few possessions scattered across the house.

Julie rings the doorbell.

I hid behind her.

Well, hid from my shoulder downs.

I'm pretty hard to miss.

* * *

**JULIE POV:(everything underneath this is her)**

I had invited Nora to come see my dad with me, but she was busy.

The stupid PDA she keeps in her pocket is always ringing.

She works as a nurse in the hospital, and is usually away 24/7 helping patients.

R is nervous, but he looks sick.

He's sweating somehow in this cold weather and he doesn't seem to be getting anything healthy of those tablets.

I'm worried about him.

What if he's seriously ill? Or he's dying? I can't afford for him to die now, when I finally have him.

* * *

I ring the doorbell again; dad never takes this long to answer it. By now, he should have been removing the six locks that secure the door, but I cant even hear him doing that.

Unless he had decided he had enough of my human/zombie relationship with R.

"C'mon dad. It's freezing." I tap my boot on the cold cobbled floor.

"Maybe he's out." R suggests. His stutter has gone and his speech is more confident now. I'm proud of him, he's improved.

But I highly doubt that he's out. He's a paranoid man, and only leaves the house for business.

"We should go." I can feel his breath on the back of my neck and it tickles. All warm and weird but nice if that's how you can describe it.

"No R." I bang on the door again.

Why won't he answer?

* * *

The door swings open when I knock again.

"Julie." Dads standing straight but he's not in uniform. He's in slacks and a white top underneath a black jacket.

I hug him. A silent thank you, for everything he's ever done.

He holds me in his arms, his grown up little girl.

R stands awkwardly behind us, and I let go of my dad to introduce.

"R." Dad looks up; R is towering over his 5"11 height.

"Sir, it's nice to see you again." R stretches out his hand.

He's trying to make best of an awkward situation.

"You too." Dad shakes his hand with a firm grip, staring straight into his eyes.

**It's a start.**

* * *

**I wrote the Julie POV because I thought it's time to get some of her input. The film and books are written mostly in R's pov, so I wanted to change it up.**

**Should I keep writing bits in Julie's POV? Or stick to R?**

**Now we've got to see what PapaGrigio says about this whole relationship situation. mwahaha.**

**update soon x **

**Any sort of review, fav, follow, read, is appreciated :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**WarmBodies CHP5.**

**Thanks for the really nice reviews on the last chapter and all the follows and favs. :) ****I listened to what you guys are saying so this chapter is a mix of what everyone wanted (and told me to do) in the reviews.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

_**R's POV.**_

We were instructed to sit down on a black leather couch.

The room was spacious, with only two couches, a small table and a TV on the wall.

The walls were painted fresh white, and I don't know why, but the place seems extremely creepy.

I didn't want Julie to sit so close to me.

I _really_ didn't.

But she did, she put my arm over her and snuggled against me.

She obviously wants her dad to stab me.

* * *

John sat opposite us, on the edge of his seat, his elbows resting on his legs with his hands crossed like he was praying.

"Julie sweetie, do me a favor and check if dinner's ready." He flashed a quick smile at her, and then looked back at me.

"Sure." Julie got up, looked back at me with a panicked expression, and left.

Jesus, I really did not need this pressure now.

I could feel myself sweating under my jumper.

Oh God.

* * *

Once Julie was out of sight, John sighed and leaned back.

He looked disgusted at the sight of me.

If I was religious, I would have got down on one knee and prayed right there.

"Listen, this is my daughter we have here." John stared straight at me.

I'm not even sure the man blinked.

"If you even break her heart or you take a snip at her, or even _get _aggressive with her. You'll be dealing with me and the rest of the men here who were there for her while she was growing up."

He watched me, with these cold eyes.

Julie was his everything.

The beginning and the end of his world.

"I know Sir, and I really don't inten –"

"-R, I haven't finished my speech." He smiled at me, uneasily.

His words seemed to be a command.

A silent command.

To tell me to the shut the hell up.

I can almost hear what he's saying in his head.

_Shut the hell up R, you're in my house, under my roof, eating my food, and dating my daughter._

_You shut the fuck up and let me finish my speech._

"Sorry Sir." I hang my head in defeat.

I can't win with this man.

"Call me John." He smiles again, the smile of The Joker.

Julie showed me the character in a Batman film.

He smiles at me, but secretly plots to kill me.

"You're going to sit up, smile, and act happy. We're going to get on with this dinner for the sake of Julie. After dinner, you're going to come up to my office and we're going to talk like real men."

I didn't even speak.

I was in _deep _waters.

Deep waters filled with sharks.

* * *

_**JULIE POV.**_

I walked back into the living room.

It was eerily quiet. Dad was leaning back on the couch and R looked awkward.

"So, dinner's ready. Let's eat, I'm starving." I smiled at the both of them, cracking my knuckles.

* * *

Never in my years of existence have I ever sat at a table so quiet.

Mum wouldn't have let it be like this, she would have accepted R, laughed at his jokes, treated him like family.

She would have commented on his height and how handsome he is.

His porcelain skin, the icy blue of his large eyes.

Fascinated over the redness of his lips and the thickness of his messy hair.

Whereas Dad, watches him in-between eating a plate of macaroni pie and chicken.

"How's the food R?" I try to stir up some sort of conversation.

"It's really good." He smiles up at Dad, and then looks back down.

Another moment of silence.

I put down my knife and fork, I'm tired of this. Dad has to make everything awkward, make everyone flipping scared of being normal around him.

I learn back in the chair, and push my plate forward.

"I'm not going to sit here and have dinner with you two if you aren't going to talk and act normal."

It's silent again, another awkward moment of silence.

"Mum would have appreciated the fact I even brought R here."

I know it's an immature thing to do, but I stormed off, upstairs and right up to my room.

Making sure I slammed the door in the process to make them know I was damn angry, and my dad apologizing was not going to change a single thing.

* * *

_**R's POV.**_

John put down his knife and fork, he sighed impatiently.

"She's serious about you then."

What could I possibly say to that?

_Oh Sir, I already knew she was serious about me when she attempted to have sex with me._

_Oh sir, I knew she was serious when she stayed in my Boeing 787 with me for days and listened to music with me. _

_Sir, you're kind of behind on the recent updates._

"R, do you love her?" He asks.

"Yes. I do." The words come easily, I love Julie. Always have, always will.

"Well, if you love her you'd make yourself a decent man."

Where was he going with this?

"If she wants something R, you buy it. If she's crying, you make her happy. If she's scared, you protect her."

He was accepting me.

_John Grigio_ was accepting me.

"But be warned, I will not _hesitate_ to drive a bullet straight through your skull, or a knife through your heart. I will _kill_ you if you hurt my baby girl."

He'd somehow managed to secretly pick up his knife and point it at me.

"You protect her, do you hear me?"

"I'll protect Julie."

"Well, if you loved her you'd be up there in her room with her now." He leaned back, putting down the knife.

I got up quickly.

Somehow, I managed to walk up the stairs to Julie's room without collapsing.

I had permission to love her.

I had permission to be her everything.

I paused by her door and felt a sharp pain in my side.

Like a knife digging right into my ribs.

Twisting constantly in my skin.

Clenching my fists I stayed still, breathing through my nose until the pain passed.

_This was no time for pain R._

* * *

**WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY BABY R? [insert smile]**

**I'm sorry Julie's POV was pretty short, this chapter focused mostly on how John and R would get on, so I couldn't really write much about her. In the next chapter I'll be able to though. ****John was pretty rough on R right? And this pain that R's got going on cant be good for his body. WHATS HAPPENING!?**

**I appreciate all your reviews, favorites, and follows :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**How To Be Human CHP 6.**

**I was a little late than my usual posting time with this entry, (sorry!) but I will make up for it in further chapters. **

**The reviews for chapter 5 literally made my little heart explode with joy, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, faved, and followed. **

**Hopefully you guys will enjoy this one :) **

* * *

**R POV.**

Jesus, what the hell was that.

Stabling myself against the wall by Julie's door I struggled to breath.

_In an out R,_ it's simple.

Breath.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Is this what dying was like?

A cold stab to your heart and making you incapable of movement.

Paralyzing you till your organs give up.

Deciding you're not worth saving.

Slowly erasing your exsis-

"R, are you alright?" Julie had her door open and was watching me.

"Yeah I'm … fine."

I can feel my hair sticking to my forehead.

I'm drowning in sweat and I can feel my eyes beginning to water.

Goddamit,

Do what John says: Be a man!

Seriously, it sounded more manly and encouraging coming from him.

Julie's still watching me as I struggle to breath.

"Come in." She holds onto my arm, and pulls me in.

* * *

Boxes are scattered along her floor, their contents spilled out.

Awkwardly, she leads me over to her bed.

I laugh inwardly.

She could have indicated what she wanted in a different way.

I smirk to myself.

R, you're an injured Zombie who's drowning in a Niagara Falls of sweat.

Doubt Julie wants you now.

She sits me down on the edge of her bed.

* * *

"I was trying to find some pictures of what life was like, before the whole walking corpse thing."

She sits on the floor by my feet, emptying out a box of paper and books.

She looks cute.

Almost babyish, with her legs crossed, studying these strange pieces of paper she had decided to keep long ago.

Julie sniffs, rubbing her nose with her shirt sleeve.

"I don't remember much, but it's nice to see little things y'know R?"

She sniffs again,

How could I reply to that?

I don't know about these little things.

Even if I did I wouldn't remember.

Streams of tears fall from her eyes.

It's heart breaking.

I'd get down on the floor and hug her, but my chest feels like it's caving in.

I'm really good at silent pain you see.

I could have my heart ripped out right in front of her and I would have made a little joke about it, laughed if I could.

It's because I can't deal with seeing people worry over me.

I don't need to be worried over.

* * *

"R, Imagine if we'd met at school. You'd defend me against the bullies and we'd become best friends. Imagine everything was normal and we grew up together. What if we went prom and I lost my virginity to you in your messy bedroom. What if we'd gotten married, had puppies, heck even a little baby girl and my dad would sit and watch football with you and drink beers. What if everything was just …_ normal_?"

She was looking up at me now, with her eyes shimmering and her lip shaking.

Where was she even going with this?

Sex, marriage, puppies, kids.

I don't even know if I could have kids, maybe I should ask the nurse.

I can't give her the life she wants.

We never met in school.

_Nothing_ was normal.

We didn't grow up together.

We never went prom.

She never lost it to me.

Her dad would never accept me.

Why was she doing this?

Killing me with a bunch of 'What if's' that would never happen.

* * *

I didn't notice her stand up and sit on my lap facing me.

The pain in my chest was growing sharper, a burning in against my ribs.

My stomach was literally turning inside of me.

"Maybe we should just go away, forget the stadium and the apocalypse and just remember me and you." Julie smiles un-easily.

Those baby blue eyes melting in front of me, placing her hand on my cheek.

I clench my fingers into the bed sheets; my stomach wants to escape my body.

God damn this hurts.

* * *

"Julie I-,"

She kisses me, pushing me back so I'm lying down and I almost groan in pain.

"Julie, stop hold-"

She's kissing everything her lips can touch, my neck, lips, chin, and nose.

And it feels amazing.

_It really does._

But my stomach wants to tell a different story.

I roll her off me quickly.

"What's wrong?!"

I turn onto my side till I'm halfway off her bed.

I can smell the stench as I pour out the contents of my stomach onto her floor until I pass out.

* * *

**CLIFFHANGEERSS. **

**sorry. I really had to drop this bomb because I've got it all planned out for you, are you excited? [insert smile] **

**Sorry it's not so long, I'll make up for that (hopefully). **

**Julie's speech to R was pretty hard to write. Imagine never being able to give the one you love what they truly want. I was choking up just writing it. **

**Thank you SO much for any new reads, reviews, follows, and faves. Much appreciated x **


	7. Chapter 7

**How To Be Human CHP7.**

**I'm sorry for the delay of this chapter. It was really hard to write considering I had to make it perfect for ya'll.**

**Thank you for all the encouraging reviews, alerts, follows, and favs. You guys make this so much fun :)**

** So, enjoy this chapter. (if that's possible)**

* * *

_**JULIE POV.**_

I could remember it all.

I knew I would remember it but somehow, I had hoped and prayed that I'd forget by the time we got to the hospital.

_He was shaking, and he had been sick. Coughing up blood, both red and black._

_He had tried to reassure me that he was fine, before he collapsed in an attack of spasms. _

_I had tried to calm him down, screaming at him to stop. _

_But he wouldn't._

_Dad came in eventually; he pulled me away from R who was lying on the floor._

_I was instructed to call the ambulance but I couldn't move. _

* * *

I ran through the Hospital hallways in search of Nora.

The paramedics had managed to calm down R and put him on a bed with a drip.

They said that it'd take a while for a doctor to arrive.

I couldn't wait a 'while'.

"Nora!" I shouted out.

Never in my life, have I ever been so scared.

Not when R kidnapped me,

Or the Boneys tried to kill us.

I couldn't handle losing him.

He had looked so ill over the last few days, why hadn't I taken him to hospital?

"Hey! Excuse me!" I stuck my hand out in front of a man leaning against a wall, wearing police uniform.

"I need Nurse Nora!" I was shouting at him, wiping my hair off my forehead.

"Ma'am you can't be shouting here, people are resting." He took off his police hat, and set it down on the chair next to him.

"I need Nora, NOW." He was stepping closer to me, his arm out stretched.

"Ma'am, seriously. You need to stop making noise or I'll have to arrest you."

"I just need Nora!" I pushed the police man away from me.

Why couldn't he see I didn't have time for distractions?

I needed to get R help from someone I trusted.

Someone I knew would go out on all stops to save him.

Just for me.

"Ma'am!" He grabbed me by my arm, pulling me forward.

"Get off me! Nora!" I tried to claw at him, as he twisted my arm behind my back and pushed me against the wall.

"Julie, Jesus!" Nora was standing down the hall, watching me.

"You know this woman?" The police officer let go of me, stepping back.

"Yeah, she's fine." Nora grabbed be my arm and pulled me down the hall.

* * *

R was attached to several machines, a oxygen mask covering his face.

A heart monitor was beeping constantly in the background.

He was alive for now.

The edges of his lips were slowly turning blue, his chest bare but moving.

"Julie, what happened to him?" She kept her voice low as she grabbed his x-rays off the metal cabinet next to his bed.

She frowned.

God, I could have broken down right there.

Don't frown Nora.

Smile,

Laugh,

_Anything_ but frown.

"I don't know Nora, recently he's been really tired and always sweating even though it's freezing outside. I've seen him struggling to breathe a couple times and he gets really bad chest pain but I didn't think it was anything important."

It was like word vomit.

The words sour in my mouth; I knew I had been stupid.

How could I not think it was important?

I felt the wetness of tears on my cheeks.

I was crying.

Something I hadn't done since my mum had died.

* * *

Nora moved silently, as she pulled a stethoscope out from the drawer next to R's bed.

She plugged it into her ears and held the cold metal to his bare chest.

Sliding it up and down against the scars.

I sucked in a deep breath.

_It'd be all right._

The silence in the room was almost deadly.

She sighed, and closed her eyes concentrating.

"Nora, he's alright yeah? Just, erm, he's changing inside and you know how people say you grow in your sleep that's just what he's doing, but it just made him a little sick right?"

I was so desperate for him to be okay.

More tears streaming down my face.

_Don't cry Julie, don't cry._

"We need to call in a doctor Jules." She unplugged the stethoscope from her ears, leaving it swinging around her neck.

"Why?" I couldn't look her in her face.

She just, she just _had_ that 'I'm sorry' expression.

Like in the movies when they're going to tell the little girl that her dog died.

Or when the mum announces to the family she's ill.

"He has Ischemic Cardiomyopathy." She sighed, and tucked her hair behind her ears, staring down at her feet.

"I don't know what that is Nora." I braced myself for news. Digging my fingernails into my palms, my whole body went rigid.

"His arteries are narrowed and aren't letting enough blood in. His heart muscle is enlarged and isn't working properly. He's got heart failure, and I'm not sure if we can fix it."

* * *

I went blank.

No speech, words, thoughts, movements.

Nothing.

I could breathe barely.

God this hurt so much.

He was dying from heart failure.

Jesus, how much pain could he have been in.

I closed my eyes for a while.

Staring at the black beneath my eyelids while I waited for something to happen.

For anything to happen.

But I've realized something I should never have forgotten.

We're all mortal.

I was going to have to face it at some point.

Everyone I love is going to die.

_My mum._

_Perry._

_R._

* * *

**If you listen really carefully, you can hear me crying. **

**Ischemic Cardiomyopathy is a real disease, and is quite a painful one. You can Google it to learn more about it if you want to. All the illnesses R had during this story are actually symptoms of Ischemic so please contact your doctor if you are experiencing any of these. **

**I'm sorry for causing you ANY form of: Crying, sadness, depression or heartbreak during this chapter. **

**Reviews, Favs, Alerts and follows are all appreciated :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**How to be Human CHP8.**

**Sorry for the long wait between updating, I've been working on my ideas and they just took so long to merge together. **

**Thank you for all the support in the last chapter, I cant remember who it was but someone mentioned it's ironic that the thing that brought R back to life (his heart) is now killing him. **

**Enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**R POV.**

I blinked heavily. Jesus, who knew it took so much energy to blink.

At first, my vision was hazy and distorted.

I could make out a figure balanced over me, with a small torch shining in my eyes.

"R, R? Can you hear me?" The voice seemed distant.

"Y, ye, yeah." I blinked heavily again, my voice slow from panting.

"Well that's good." I could make out a laugh now, and the voice seemed recognisable.

Nora.

I smiled; I had someone I knew by my side.

* * *

"N, No, Nora, what's … going on?" I forced the words out of my lips which were struggling to move.

"Nothing, nothing's going on R." She smiled at me.

I could feel hands tighten around my wrists.

They felt silky, almost like rubber gliding across my skin.

I felt my heart beat slow, my eyes becoming heavier and heavier to open.

"Nora, I'm … I'm … dying." I groaned.

She laughed at me, the dimples in her cheeks visible.

"No R, you're not dying. You're just sleepy, you're falling asleep." She stroked my cheek.

"But … but I feel like … I'm suffocating."

"It's because you're fighting it. Stop fighting it. Listen, on the count of three, breathe in."

3, I counted in my head.

2,

1.

* * *

I sucked in a deep breath when I felt a needle dig right into my back, a large one.

Deep into my skin and eventually into the bone.

It was a feeling of numbness, like I was slowly losing feeling from my waist down.

It was difficult to breathe in, but I managed to scream.

A scream long enough that it made my entire body curl up.

I was being held down.

Pushed down against the bed, Nora was sshing me.

* * *

**Nora POV.**

He was screaming so loud my ears tingled.

He arched his back and his whole body was shaking.

Tears were falling down his cheeks, and he had never looked so vulnerable in all the time he had been here.

Put in temporary paralysation, he couldn't do anything but cry.

"R, it's okay. It's okay." I stroked his cheeks, wiping away the tears spilling down his face.

"No Nora, it's not okay. It hurts, please call Julie. Please." He was sobbing between speeches, his face distorted as he was fighting the feeling of numbness running through him.

"I can't feel my legs Nora. I can't." He stared me straight in my eyes, his chest rapidly moving up and down.

"It's okay R, you're going to fall asleep. We have to fix your little heart okay?"

I tried to smile, holding back the tears gathering in my bottom eyelid.

"It hurts Nora." He frowned and looked up at the ceiling.

"It's okay." I ran my hand through his hair.

Slowly, he drifted into a deep sleep.

"Nora, we have to do the surgery now." Doctor Johnson tapped my shoulder.

"Will he be alright?" I try to smile at him.

"Yep, he'll go through the surgery quickly and safely. His heart rate and blood pressure are all good. In a couple of hours he'll be awake and functioning perfectly. I promise you nothing will go wrong."

My heart lifted. He was going to be okay.

* * *

**Sorry it was short but I had this little pre-surgery idea in my head and I had to share it. This was hard to write because I went on YouTube and a lot of websites on how to cure Ischemic and one suggestion was Bone Marrow, which hurts a hell of a lot, and to inject Bone Marrow into someone they have to receive an epidural before-hand, and as a girl with a mother who had a epidural, that hurts a hella lot too. **

**I'll update soon with FINALLY a chapter that doesn't involve R being hurt.**

**Reviews, Favs, Alerts, Follows are all very appreciated. Thank you so so so (x456) much if you do any of these (: **


	9. Chapter 9

**CHP9**.

_I am very very sorry for this extremely long wait. I didn't expect it to take so long but I wanted this chapter to be completely perfect for you guys, since your reviews, favs, and follows were very appreciated. :3 _

* * *

**_1 Week Later_**

**_Julie POV_**

I rolled over in bed, uncomfortable with the amount of space I had.  
It was the 16th of December and I needed someone else's body heat to keep me warm.  
I missed R like crazy, and it felt weird with him not staring at me every two seconds.  
Rolling onto my side again, I grabbed his pillow and held it to my chest.  
Breathing in his familiar scent of Old Spice, I imagined what it'd be like if was here.  
His eyes fluttering in his sleep, his arm wrapped tightly around mine.  
I sighed to myself.

* * *

I had placed my phone on the bedside table, facing it just in case a call came through.  
Why was I even waiting up for a phone call? R wouldn't do that.  
He'd turn up in the middle of the night.  
Under my window calling my name or I'd wake up in his arms.  
He was spontaneous like that.  
I rolled over again, the sheets feeling like sandpaper against skin.  
I am a strong woman; I can wait for R to come home because he will.  
Closing my eyes, I drifted slowly into sleep.

* * *

**_"In the west of Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days-'"_**  
I was awoken by the sound of my ringtone, a song that I should have changed years ago.  
Who knew if Philadelphia still existed?  
I groaned, grabbing the phone off the bedside table.  
**4:56 am.  
Caller ID: Nora**  
My heart skipped, this could be good news or bad news.  
Oh please be good news.  
Pressing the accept button and holding the phone to my ear, I quickly spoke;  
"Hello?"  
"Hi Jules, were you asleep?"  
"Yeah, but that doesn't matter." I sat up in bed, placing my feet on the cold floor.  
"Oh okay, guess you'd be the first to want to come down to the hospital."  
"What's happened" I took in a deep breath through my blocked nose.  
"You'll have to come over Hun." She sighed.  
"Fine yeah." I smiled, like she could even see it.  
"Alright, See ya' later Jules." She hung up, the buzz of the line in my ear.

* * *

I tried to remain calm as I walked down the hallway, of the deserted hospital.  
I had tried to look good for R, but it was impossible to look good at 5 in the morning, in a hospital full of people dying from some sort of disease.  
Nora had directed me to room 43 on floor 5.  
I got in the lift with a guy who seemed just as tense as me.  
"What floor?" He asked.  
"5"  
"Visiting a family member?" The guy was a couple inches taller than me, he slammed his fingers into the button as if strength would made the lift move faster.  
"Yeah." Would I count R as family?  
I mean, we never really labelled each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.  
So is he my boyfriend?  
Or a friend with benefits?  
_Jules, you can't think like that, especially after everything we'd been through._

* * *

"Awr, shame. Sorry about that." He replied.  
"It's ok. What about you?" I asked respectfully, tucking my hair behind my ear I kept looking down at my toes.  
"Yeah, my mum." He tapped his knuckles against the metal of the lift.  
"Hope she get's better." I looked up at him and smiled.  
_Jesus he was good looking._  
Light hazel eyes, strong jaw, warm and inviting smile.  
**_What_**? So I'm not allowed to notice other guys.  
"Thanks."  
The lift stopped at the second floor, opening to a hallway filled with closed blue doors with number on top and each with a small window covered by blinds.  
He walked out with me.  
"I'm Darren." He walked by my side.  
"Julie. Are you following me or something?" I sideways glanced up at him and caught him staring, he ran his fingers through his curly and messy hair.  
I blushed, I _fucking_ blushed.  
"Nope, I'm room 33."  
"Room 43." I really wanted to avoid this social interaction now.  
"Well, we're here now, so see ya' later Julie." He smiled.  
His smile was so goddamn huge his eyes almost closed.  
"Well, bye." I smiled back, and opened the door to R's room.

* * *

The first thing I noticed was the eerily silence of the room,  
I expected him to be bouncing around watching a programme about sharks on the crappy hospital TV's,  
Or stuffing his mouth with food off a tray.  
But he was doing none of that.  
I could make out the lines of his body underneath the white sheet.  
No wires were anywhere near him.  
Not even that stupid heart monitor that constantly beeped.  
R, no, no, **_no._**  
This can't have happened right?

* * *

I sat in the blue plastic chairs that lined the wall opposite his bed.  
This was it then.  
I knew this was going to happen at some point.  
Nora just couldn't bear the fact of telling me over the phone.  
Just ... not right now.  
Not when I needed him.  
I got over Perry right? So I was strong enough to get over R.  
I buried my face into my hands and sighed.  
Letting the tears fall down my hands as I cried.  
He was gone and it was time to let go.

* * *

_**R POV**_  
I remained perfectly still underneath the covers.  
Jesus Julie, I expected you to lift the sheet off me, not sit and cry.  
I was going to surprise the shit out of you and then possibly have sex on this bed or against the wall.  
I peeked out from underneath the sheet.  
She had her head buried in her hands and she just looked defeated.  
Her hair was curly but seemed to just lack the colour and shine it had before.  
It was thin and messy and the skin of her hands looked pale.  
I didn't mean to make her cry.

* * *

I contemplated staying frozen under these sheets until she left,  
But by then she'd have accepted I was dead.  
Pulling the sheet back slowly and quietly.  
I sat up as best as I could.  
"Julie?" Goddamn my voice was rough.  
She looked up quickly, like her neck snapped up.  
She eyed me for a while, before getting up from her chair.  
"R?" She slowly inched towards me, her eyes wide but skeptical.  
"No it's Santa." I smiled, M had told me that joke before. Figured it'd be a good time to use it again.

* * *

She sort of crashed into me.  
Her arms wrapping around me and squeezing me against her.  
She was warm and she was Julie.  
"I missed you." I held her as best as I could, I had no energy whatsoever.  
"I missed you too." She stepped back away from me, her hand still on my cheek and studied my face.  
She punched my arm, and then kissed me, pushing me back with a force I couldn't even fight right now.  
Sweet Jesus, I missed the feel of her lips on mine and her eyelashes brushing against my skin.  
"Ow, what was the punch for? And plus do I look any different?"  
"The punch was for pretending to be dead, and yeah R, you look ..." She was struggling to find the right words.  
"Fully human?" I smirked at her, and she grinned.  
"Yeah, exactly that."

* * *

**Woo, woop, celebrate, bring out the candy gurl. R's back bitches [insert popular guy with sunglasses on].**

**At this current moment in time, you can sit back on your computer chair/bus seat/bed and tilt your head a little and go: "**_who the hell is Darren and why is he relevant?_**" You'll find out soon homebro's.**

**_Favs, follows, alerts, and reviews are so appreciated. tysm_**


	10. Chapter 10

**How to be human.**

_Sorry this took so long, I spent ages re-writing and crossing things out to get it perfect and then I decided it wasn't good enough and started all over again :( _

_Thank you for all the reviews, favs and follows! It was AMAZING how many emails I got x_

* * *

"I've always wanted to try and do a backflip, do you think I can do it now?"  
"No, R, oh my god no." She held her stomach as she laughed.  
He had been jumping up and down in a spare tracksuit bottoms and top for the past twenty minutes.  
He looked like a kid at christmas.  
"Lie down next to me, come here." She patted his hospital bed.  
"There's just so much I can do now, think about it Jules. I'm happy now." He freely expressed his emotions with his hands, he was so ... different now.  
"Where you not happy before?" Her eyebrows furrowed and smile dropped.  
"I .. I was." R didn't meet eye contact. How could he have been happy before? He wasn't human, he had the special school thing to attend like he was an outcast, people watched him. Now he was no different to them.  
"R, you were perfect before, you're perfect now."  
He sighed, blowing off her comment then climbed into the bed next to her.  
She missed his presence, she drowned in every inch of his 6 foot body and he wrapped himself around her.  
"I missed you, y'know that right." She whispered as she put his hand over his.  
"I did know that." He laughed into her ear, he missed her more than she missed him.  
On those long nights that he spent awake he needed her touch, her smile and cute laugh.  
"What do you want in life?." Her words were quiet and he barely heard her.  
"The future you mean?"  
"Yep."  
"You."

* * *

**R POV.**

Julie had gone downstairs to the vending machine to get drinks and food.  
I had planned to make this night romantic-ish.  
As romantic as you could make a small hospital room.  
I took some blankets from the cupboard and layered the bed sheets.  
It was partially comfy.  
It was ... ok.  
The light switch wasn't the same as the one in our house.  
It had a little twisty thing which turned on it.  
I played with it for a bit, trying my best not to break it.  
Took me a while but I figured it out, it's a dimmer.  
If I say so myself the room looks more romantic now.  
No candles or music to play in the background but thats ok.  
This could work.

* * *

**Julie POV.**  
I'm starving. My stomach ache's and I need food.  
The vending machine has a good supply, couple of chocolate bars and crisp.  
I got an orange juice and a packet of crisp, R's still on special hospital meals.  
I banged on the vending machine, it was taking ages for my food to drop.  
"Hey maybe you shouldn't hit it."  
The voice was quick and smooth, the tickle of someone's breath against the back of my neck.  
I jumped in response and turned around.  
"Oh for fuck sake are you stalking me?" I rolled my eyes and turned back around.  
That stupid Darren guy was back again.  
"It's the only vending machine in the hospital that works, what was it ... Julie?" I didn't have to turn around to know he was smiling.  
"Yes. My name is Julie, anything else you want to know about me?"  
My food dropped out the machine and I collected my change and meal.  
"How's your boyfriend?"  
"I told you I was visiting a family member." I turned around to face him, fidgeting with the cap of the drink.  
"I figured it was a boyfriend, you look flushed." He grinned at me.  
He had one of the smiles where you just had to smile back.  
I couldn't help myself and bit down on my lip.  
"He's fine anyway. How's your ... mum?" I tilted my head to the side a little.  
Was it his mum he mentioned in the lift?  
"All good, she just broke a bone." He nodded his head, flipping the coins in his hand.  
"I'll let you get your food now." I smiled a little and headed back in the direction of the lift.  
"Wait for me lift buddy." He shouted out, pushing coins in the machine.  
"Yeah right." I laughed and pressed the button for the lift to come.

* * *

**R POV**  
She walked into the room with a smile on her face but froze when she closed the door behind her,  
"What's this?" She licked her bottom lip.  
That little beat thing in my chest went all crazy.  
I could hear it in my goddamn ears.  
How could people learn to do stuff with this annoying beating every second.  
"It's for you." I stuttered.  
Oh is that all you can do R.  
Point out the fucking obvious, jesus.  
"I thought we could, initiate something."  
I wanted to slam myself into a brick wall, how corny of me.  
"Initiate something?" She squeezed her eyebrows together confused.  
I walked over to her, closing the distance between us.  
_Go on R,_ whoop whoop you can do this.  
I imagined a tiny cheerleading team in my head celebrating.

* * *

I kissed her, taking her by surprise and pushing her against me.  
"Ohh initiate." She murmured between kisses.  
I could feel her smiling as she wrapped her arms around my neck.  
"Hold on." I whispered to her, lifting her up by her legs as she latched onto me.  
I carried her over to the bed and set her down.  
Thank the Lord I did not trip, or fall and movement was quite easy.  
I didn't break the kiss, climbing onto the bed and hovering above her.  
She hummed into my mouth, pulling me down against her.  
I could imagine M laughing in the background.  
I was getting some action tonight.  
God, why did I even think that.  
Don't panic R, don't panic.  
"I love you, so much." She pulled away from me.  
Allowing me access to kiss down her jaw line and neck.  
She moaned quietly, who knew that such a simple sound could be so sexy.  
I unbuttoned the flannel t-shirt she wore, kissing down by her collarbone and chest.  
This has to be perfect.

* * *

It wasn't long before we were both undressed and under the layers of blankets.  
Her legs wrapped around my waist.  
She was beautiful, so ... her.  
If that even makes sense.  
"What do you want me to do?" I was nervous, I didn't want to mess this up.  
"Whatever feels right." She smiled.  
I tensed up, sucking in a deep breath and 'exhaling'.  
I had it all pictured in my head, I just couldn't bring myself to .. do it.  
"R, you alright? She looked up at me, her hand running against my arm.  
No, it was not alright Julie.  
I have expectations to live up to,  
You've slept with other guys and who knows if they were good or not.  
I kept my mouth closed and nodded at her.  
"Here look, lemme help."  
Using her hands she guided me to her entrance, and pushed upwards against my hips.  
I could feel her.  
God knows I tried my best to not panic or ruin the moment.  
Just her face and the feel of her alone almost killed me,  
I understood why all men talked about sex now.  
Just that simple connection of bodies.  
Heart beat to heart beat.  
Sweat and heat pouring off each other.  
A sexual act performed by warm bodies.

* * *

Oh god, was it ok? I'm trying to touch the T Rated side of life. I'm hiding under the tables cause I really had no confidence with this chapter, but the next one's I will. Promise :)

**Thank you for any review, favs, or follows coming in for this chapter and just thank you for reading it.**


	11. Chapter 11

_Hola, sorry for the very slow update, I'll give yo the real reason for it, I was tired and lazy and had a bad case of writers block, but also; I've planned out the rest of the story so yay. Thank you so much for everything you guys did, reviews, favs and follows! _

* * *

**R POV**.  
"You glad to be home?" Julie pulled up in the driveway.  
Something didn't feel the same with the house.  
Maybe it was the fact I'd left it half dead and came back fully human.  
"Yeah."  
We climbed out almost in sync.  
It definitely was the house.  
It just reeked of creepiness and old stories.  
Memories, that's it.  
Memories that didn't belong to me or Julie.

* * *

She lounged across the chair, her feet kicked up as she changed the channel.  
I could feel the house drowning me.  
If that makes any sense to you.  
I was drowning in death and happiness that poured out from the walls.  
It didn't feel like home anymore.  
Hell, we hadn't lived here long but it was home.  
Upstairs, I kept my four pairs of black shoes, a couple jeans and a selection of jumpers.  
If that wasn't home, I don't know what else is.

* * *

"R, you've been standing at the door for ages. What's wrong?"  
Her voice brought me out of my little limbo.  
"I would like to move houses."  
The words just sort of, jumped out.  
"Move houses? why? We just kind of got here R."  
"Yes, but this isn't our house."  
"Is it not home to you?" She muted the television and turned to me.  
She looked sexy in the dim morning light.  
Her hair seemed to shine.

* * *

"Home, is erm .. Home is where my heart is, and that's with you."  
That was the right line ... right?  
Fuck, that was cheesy.  
"R, what's wrong? I don't think it's best we move we, I mean you just got out of the hospital." She seemed worried, her eyebrows furrowing.  
"It's a fresh start, that we should take. Together."  
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.  
"I just ... this doesn't feel like .. our house anymore."  
"So your saying." Julie swung her feet off the couch and standing up, walking over to me.  
"You'd move anywhere, right now?"  
"Erm ., yes."  
"R, we should really take this slow."  
"Why?" Pushing forward, I kissed her quickly.  
"Who said we have the financial support to buy a new home?"  
"Well I'll get a job then."  
She _laughed_ at my words.  
Jeez, way to break a guy.

* * *

"You don't think I can get one?" She wrapped her arms around me, stifling her laugh.  
"No I just-"  
"Oh forget it Julie."  
I pushed her off me, right now I didn't need her mocking me.  
"R, I was only joking."  
"Yeah whatever."  
I walked off, putting all my energy into stomping on the stairs as loud as I could.

* * *

**Later** ..  
Reading.  
Something so simple, I never really got to do.  
This book was particularly heavy as fuck, pretty thick too.  
Opening the first cover, the words seemed to be tangled.  
"Goddamit."  
The words slowly unravelled themselves, forming smaller short sentences.  
"R?" Her voice soft and silk.  
Putting down my book, I got up off the bed, turning my back to her.

* * *

"What?"

"Sorry for laughing at you."

"Whatever, I don't care."  
My heart ached.  
God, I wasn't dying again was I?  
"Let me make it up to you." She walked around the bed to face me.  
Kneeling down in front of me, she tapped the bottom of my chin with her index finger.  
"Hey, I am sorry. You could totally get a job and do a bunch of other human stuff."  
"Hmmm, whatever Julie."  
"Let me take you out. Somewhere new, please." She stared up at me.  
She always did this, jesus christ.  
Her eyes quivered and the light reflected off them perfectly.  
"Fine."  
"Meet me downstairs, don't be grumpy boo."  
She laughed again, jumping up and running away.

* * *

_This was a little filler just to give you guys some extra info. I've got a big chapter coming up, promise to update sooner! _

_Thank you for any buttons you click that aren't back after reading this :) _


	12. Chapter 12

**How to be Human CHP 12.**

_I'm so un-organised it hurts, and this chapter is like way different to all the others, meh. I was listening to Ed Sheeran while writing this so enjoy the mush. _

_author out. [no characters belong to me and i also have no beta]_

**_[IF YOU WANT TOO, LISTEN TO KISS ME BY ED SHEERAN WHILE READING THIS]_**

* * *

"Look we're here now." She put the car in park and reached over to him.

Julie had insisted R wear a cloth around his eyes or whatever the word she used for it that he couldn't remember.

_Blindfold_, that's it.

She untied the blindfold, and pulled it away from his face, dashing it aside.

The car was parked in a field, probably on a hill from the way the city sat below them.

The sun was going down and the sky was exploding in bright reds, oranges and blues.

She sat back in her seat, looking out the windshield today the sight in front of them.

"It's pretty right?"

She snuck a glance at him before turning back to the sunset.

R looked shocked, eyes wide.

"I've never properly watched a sunset, even when I was … you know." He sucked in a deep breath, and looked confused when Julie pushed open her door and climbed out.

She left the door open and walked around to the front of the car,

Not taking her eyes off the sunset in front of her as she climbed onto the car, sitting up against the windshield.

R sat in silence for a while, before exiting and joining her.

* * *

"We could destroy_ all_ of this you know." Julie broke the silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, they want to build houses up here. It's a vote, the only reason it hasn't happened yet it because I'm voting on behalf of my dad and he's the one calling the shots." She leant her head into the crook of his neck, wrapping her arm around him.

R remained silent.

"It's nice up here."

"Exactly."

More silence, which wasn't awkward.

The sun had just about fallen, the sky turning a dark blue and a cold breeze beginning to blow.

"R, I'm sorry for everything I said about the job and that."

She paused.

"If you want to get a job, you go out and get one."

She shifted positions, laying her head on his chest and he looked down and kissed her head.

Watching her, eyes full of awe at the sight of her.

"It doesn't matter Julie, seriously."

"Do you think we should get married?" Julie blurted out but instantly regretted it.

R thought about his answer.

He had never considered marriage a thing him and Julie would do.

Their relationship was _very_ far from normal and traditional.

* * *

"I don't mind, either way I'm going to end up spending every moment I have left with you."

"Well you have loads of moments left; don't act like you're going to die R. You've only just started life."

He played with her hair, tying the loose curls around his fingers.

There was another silence as the breeze blew, and Julie wrapped herself closer to R.

* * *

The city below them lit up, in reds, yellows and white.

Moments like this he cherished.

The simple things like lying on his car with Julie towering over the city.

It was stupidly romantic and very cheesy.

But it made him happy.

He was happy.

He was always happy around Julie, apart from when she screamed at him for making the house messy or something similar.

"Julie."

"Hmm?" She tilted up her head to look at him.

"If getting married is something you want to do, we should do it."

"You sure?" A grin spread across her face.

She had been debating for weeks about whether to ask him.

R wasn't the type to come through the door with flowers and go down on one knee.

Well, he was the type to do romantic things but he'd have no clue where to start with it.

"Yeah. I love you and if it's what you want to do, then it's what I want to do."

He kissed her forehead, and she rolled over by his side on to her stomach.

She slid herself up a little and kissed him.

* * *

_Gentle, sweet kisses._

There was no battling, but simple skin on skin.

Savouring in the taste of her lips, R let out a small groan.

She bit down softly on his bottom lip, smiling into their kiss.

He let her take control as usual, she was better with these kind of things.

"R." Julie pulled away quickly, still quite close.

"What's wrong?"

"You don't know your last name, so you'll have to come up with one or take mine." He frowned and sighed.

"Can we do this later? You disrupted our kiss." He smirked at her and she laughed in response.

"I'm sorry." She pressed her lips against his again and they stayed like that for some time.

* * *

_hope you enjoyed the cute little fluffy here and that change of story-line. hope it was okay :) _

_you guys could send me some things that'd you like to see, I cant guarantee including all but i'll try my best to do one or two, thankyou for all your support throughout this story and it amazes me how people even still read this. my schedule is horrible urgh. but i'm on holidays now so i'm writing more. yay. _

_THANKYOU FOR ANYTHING YOU PRESS AFTER THIS THAT ISN'T JUST BACK. _


	13. Chapter 13

**_How to be Human CHP 13._**

**Inspired by a very cute tumblr prompt, my tumblr btw is bowdowntomyking . tumblr . com (remove spaces). thank you for the reviews, follows and fav's for the last chapter, you guys make me really happy and make my heart go weeeee !**

* * *

_They were swimming in the warm water. _

_R sat at the bottom of the pool, and Julie had just got in._

_She was swimming down at him, her cheeks puffy from holding in air. _

_Her hair spiraled out in a fan around her, and R smiled. _

_She looked gorgeous in the water but she still had a long way to go before she reached him. _

_And then she let go of her breath. _

_And he could hear her screams through the water. _

* * *

_A bony hand had wrapped around her ankle, she was being pulled up out of the water. _

_She was kicking and screaming, her arms outstretched for R to grab her. _

_He couldn't move, he had let go of his breath too._

_He had tried to scream back to her, but he had forgotten where he was._

_The water pushed it self down his throat and he was chocking. _

_His chest felt like it was caving in on itself as he tried to swim up to her. _

R shot up out of his sleep, instinctively reaching out for Julie.

But she wasn't there, she wasn't curled up by his side asleep.

The room was empty.

Panicking, he jumped out of the bed, stumbling as his foot wrapped around the covers.

He slammed open the bedroom door, running down the stairs as fast as he could.

* * *

"Jesus christ R, What the hell happened?" Julie popped her head out of the kitchen, to see a wide-eyed R standing at the bottom of the stairs.

She was dressed in his t-shirt, her hair tied up, and her hands covered in flour.

**She was safe.**

"Nothing, I had, I just." He looked down at the floor, embarrassed to finish his sentence.

"Another dream?"

"Yes."

"Come here." She smiled and went up to him to give him a hug, tiptoeing just a little so she could place a kiss on his nose.

"You'll be fine R, I promise you, everything will be fine."

"I know." He closed his eyes and held her.

"What are you making?"

"Cake, I like cake."

R groaned in response.

"What's wrong with my cake." She pulled away from the hug, pouting.

"You burn cake." He smiled at her as she wiped her hand covered in flour along the side of his face as he weakly tried to fight her away.

"Whatever R." She skipped back into the kitchen.

* * *

**sorry for the shortness, it was a tiny small prompt about cake and dreams. i will continue the storyline next though. this just had to get it's way into here.**


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